Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling

Warning!!!!!

All the people mentioned about are purely real. Any resemblance with fictional people are purely coincidental.Trying my luck in writing a fictional story which is based on non-fictional events...

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The time stood still as she entered the room. I thought I was dead, because I had just seen an angel. That was two years ago. The boundary wall still needed some work. The gaps needed to be filled. Sweat was dropping from my forehead. Only a little work remained. The house needed to be secure from trespassers.  Only three people had keys to this house, my twin the devil, babes and kiddo. People I could trust to take care of this place. My bags were packed. I was leaving the city and going to my friend’s place where no one would be there to disturb me. I would be cut off from the rest of the world and would usher in the New Year with peace. 

 I will always have fond memories of this place. I had returned here two years back. But somewhere I messed up. Somewhere I took a wrong turn and got lost. Words dried up. It felt like everything that was supposed to be said had already been said between us. It was as if we were trying to express ourselves through silence but held back our emotions. 

That was a week back. My eyes were red, as I kept the phone down. Things had come to such a passé that saying few words were difficult. But that was now in the past. My bags were ready and I had to move on, I had a train to catch. 

As I looked back at the house I smiled. The walls were high enough to stop anyone from entering. Except for three people no one had a key. I don’t know when I will return. It will be difficult to allow anyone to this place again. I had a long look at the place, picked up bags and started to walk away. I never looked back again. I doubted myself if I could hold back my tears if I looked back. The place that left behind is my "HEART".

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Looking to shift to my own website come next year. Most of the work is finished. Only name has to be decided. You guys can help me out by suggesting a  kool name or putting in your vote... please do help me out with this...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I know the way,but have lost the path...

As another day ends,as sun sets and rises in the west I ask myself am I more enlighten today than I was yesterday. I feel like a traveller who is lost in the forest. He knows he has to get out, to stay alive ,to continue his journey, but he has no idea how to get out. For some one who has so many flaws and few friends  i have always been told that my biggest strength is my "Enthusiasm" towards life, the zest to try and do everything there is out there to do. Some how i feel drained out. Need a refill. Hate living my life on Auto pilot. Hoping for a turn of events. Atleast i will be in thick of things. 

My earlier post when i was lost...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

We won the battle, but we lost brave men.

I woke up this morning got of my bed and switch on the television. Taj was still under siege. And then things changed. Rapid exchange of fire and counter fire started along with explosions. And it continued for at least an hour. Then Taj was on fire and it was completely covered in smoke. 

The fire tenders and the brave fire personnels rushed to the spot. The operation was finally over. The ordeal had come to an end. The Taj was free and then I saw a 16th year old boy lighting up his father’s pyre. What must be going through his mind? His father died for what? 

Hemant Karkare the chief of ATS was a bright and upright officer. Till his death he fought terrorism. The double  face monster known as politicians were up again. The same BJP and VHP who till Wednesday were accusing the ATS of giving the hindu’s a bad name following his investigation in the recent blast had constructed hoarding saluting the brave soul. Shame you guys. You never allowed him to work, question his integrity , threatened him and his family, called for a bandh on 1st dec to stop him from working and today you hail him as a hero ready to grab the media bytes by offering his family money. I detest people like you. We are better with out you guys. And all of us should ask ourselves what did they die for?

Given below are profile of some of the men we lost trying to defend us. Yes, Us. So that we can live another day.I am not gonna use the word late in front of their names cause heroes never die.

Hemant Karkare:

The 54-year-old police officer had a career spanning 26 years. Originally from Madhya Pradesh, he studied mechanical engineering in Nagpur.

After stints at the National Productivity Council and Hindustan Lever, he made it to the Indian Police Service in 1982.

Karkare served as Superintendent of Police in Chandrapur, Maharasthra primarily fighting Naxalites from 1991 to 1993.

He was also an Assistant Commissioner of Police in Nagpur.Known as an upright officer, he served in the Research and Analysis Wing (RAW) for seven years.

He returned to his state cadre to head the ATS in Jaunary 2008 and is credited with solving the serial bomb blasts in Thane, Vashi and Panvel.

Ashok Kamte:

Ever heard of a police commissioner having a fan club.(Click here to visit his fan club) Yes, it’s true. He was a daredevil officer who had gained a popularity matching a Bollywood hero in solapur. A body builder, power lifter he also had  two national records to his name. He came from a family of officers. 

A highly decorated officer, Solapur and Sangli, where Kamte served as the commissioner of police and the superintendent of police, his status was no less than that of a hero. He was also deputed to Bosnia. He came into lime light when he dragged  a Karnataka MLA(Click here to read the complete story) for violating the supreme court rule of not bursting the crackers between 10pm to 6 am. The MLA had to be admitted to the ICU.  Defending his actions he said the law was equal for all. "Nobody has the right to violate the law”. The last words his wife said to him before he was taken away for cremation was she will always love him.

Click here. Story 1. Story 2. Story 3.

 Vijay Salaskar:

 Salaskar, an M Com from Mumbai University , had joined the force as a sub inspector. He had been believed to kill around 75 dreaded criminals in police encounters. After being out of the spotlight for quite sometime, the encounter specialist was given the plum posting of heading the anti-extortion wing of the crime branch.

He was also known for his professional animosity against Arun Gawli, a notorious gangster turned politician from Mumbai.

It is worth quoting his beliefs he talked about in his interview with Pritish Nandy .

How does it feel to kill a man, looking him in the eye?", to which he had said, "In a shootout, no one has time for such niceties. Either you kill or you get killed. I am plain lucky to still be alive. In this job, you know, we take one day at a time. Who can predict what tomorrow will bring?"

These were his words in March, 1999. On November 26, 2008, Salaskar died during the Mumbai terrorist attacks. Click here for full interview.

Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan:

The Safety, Honour and Welfare of your Country come first, always and every time.

The Honour, Welfare and Comfort of the Men you command come next.

Your Own ease, Comfort and Safety come last, always and every time"

Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan lived and died by this motto of the IMA. He led a commando team to clear Taj Hotel on November 27. The operation was code named Operation Cyclone.

When one of the commando of his team was injured, Major Unnikrishnan went in to evacuate him and spotted one of the terrorists.

Major Unnikrishnan engaged the terrorist in a gun battle and had overpowered him but another terrorist who was hiding in the room fired at him seriously injuring the brave officer. Major Unnikrishnan succumbed to his injuries soon.

The 31-year-old Major, born on March 15, 1977 and the only son of retired ISRO officer K Unnikrishnan, joined the National Defence Academy and was commissioned in the 7th Battalion of the Bihar Regiment in 1999. 

If you visit his orkut profile.(Respect  the space) you wont believe the guy you are seeing is a leader of a crack commando in the country. From the videos you see in his profile I could infer that his favourite band must Pakistani band Strings. In his job description he writes it is non productive. Ironic isn't it.

If these events do not inspire us for a change nothing else will. We need to understand that Terrorism has no religion, no caste and certainly no GOD. We need to be united. If we cannot be the change we want to see in this world, no one else is gonna come and change it for us.

 Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.

Missing from the action was a certain gentleman and his rag tag army who has vowed to keep all the outsiders from Mumbai. Wondering why did not they came out. Is it that they come out of their homes only when they think "Marathi Manoos" jobs are on the line and not their lives. Strange. Think about it. The two face monster called the politicans.

Battle has been won. War still rages on.

(Sources: The Times of India, The Indian Express , IBNLive, Rediff.com)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dr. Can you glue my heart back, It's broken

I am great believer in that all the things that happen in your life they happen for a reason.
Ever heard of Six degree of Separation theory. Well it states that everyone on this planet is connected to everyone by six people they know. true or false critics are still out there. Internet has truly made are world a touch smaller than it use to be earlier. 

Someone just out of random ended up on my blog. Left a comment. I replied back. Ended up chatting courtesy the new chat feature in my blog which allows people to chat with me if i am online.So when you meet a complete stranger on the net. you talk and you exchange email id with that person, ends up adding him/her to your social network. Then you discover you have some common friend. Small world.Touche. And so it happened with me recently.

But I never thought we will meet again. I mean you dont have times for friends let alone strangers.I was up watching India thrash England,catching the score Online. Ya no TV. Somebody pops up and guess who. So more conversation. More people we know in common.

The talks last a bit longer. The other person opens up and ends up sharing some doubts about life with me. What made someone to share it with a stranger(Me. In this case)I dont know. May be it is easier to talk to someone who is not gonna judge you and will have an unbiased opinion. 

So for all those people who have been in love or are in love and have realised that love is not a two way street for them, I would say bad luck but you can always use a DETOUR.

If i would have been on radio i would have played a nice song for that friend of mine who is no longer a stranger. But since i am not i will let you guys read this  
EXCERPTS FROM SHANTARAM.

I couldn't explain that love to her, or anyone else, including me. I never believed in love until it happened to me. Then, when it did happen, it was as if every atom in my body had been changed, somehow. I was different, forever, just for the sight of her. And the love that opened in my heart seemed to drag the rest of my life behind it, from that moment onward. I heard her voice in every lovely sound the wind wrapped around me. Sometimes, when I thought of her, the hunger to touch her, and to kiss her and to breathe a scented minute of her black hair crushed the air in my lungs.

But she wasn't in love with me, she'd said, and she didn't want me to love her. Nothing grieves more deeply or pathetically than one half of a great love that isn't meant to be.

Most love's are like that. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out - your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it.

At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread,of course, is that we won't stop loving them, even after they are gone. For I still love you with the whole of my heart, I still love you. And sometimes, the love that I have, and can't give you, crushes the breath of my chest.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Saying Sorry is not ENUF...

I haven't slept well for the past three days. I am very upset with myself and my behavior. I promised my self that i won’t be rude to any one . The fact that I allowed the situation to get to me and instead of giving the person benefit of doubt, I reacted. May be I was right, but I could have chosen my words and method better.

Though later I apologized, I realized sometimes saying "SORRY" is not enough. Saying "SORRY" is not going to erase my actions. The person is a friend. The fact that I behaved in such manner is appalling.

Consequence of my actions. Simple .For the next two weeks, I am grounded. No internet, no mobile calls for chit chat and no Manchester United. Am I over reacting? No, I don't think so.

I don't want to be remembered as rude person. I don’t want to make a habit of losing self control and getting away from it by saying "SORRY". That is not the kind of person I want to become.
Cause sometimes saying "SORRY" is not enuf...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Let there be Light!!!

Diwali for me has always been a special festival. I just love everything about it. Normally every year i sit down with my phone book and start calling up people. But this year i have decided to send greeting cards to some of the people i am close to. And i am amazed by there positive response. They are so happy to receive a card after such a long time.

Monica AKA "Granny" to me is a very special friend. She is perhaps the most smart,talented and creative person i have ever met.(Last heard she had quit her advertising job and is writing a book). And after reading her email i just cannot stop smiling. So i thought to share with you guys what she wrote. (Hope Monica wont kill me!!!)

Dear Karan,

When I was a kid, and as I continue being a kid, I still love looking
forward to Diwali. Diwali meant illuminating the house with lots and
lots of diyas and candles… somehow they've always been the much better
option than tubelights and lightbulbs; decorating the front porch of
the house with my very amateurish Rangoli; dressing up in bizarre and
bright colours; and enjoying delicious meals with the family.

While I've always looked forward to receiving those boxes of dry
fruits every Diwali, this time, I'll have something better to look
forward to… your greeting card.

Karan, do you realise what you'll be doing? And why I liked this idea
of yours so much? You'll be restoring, in your very special way, the
importance of the common Postman. He shall, like the good old days,
become an important entity in this whole festival system… A messenger
of good wishes and good cheer. House to house, building to building,
and locality to locality, you shall be allowing him to tread spaces
that the Internet has denied him in recent times.


Though i did not have all this things in mind when i set out to do this, it just made my day.
Thanks Monica. We still have to meet.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Fall in Love All over Again

yaadon mein jiski
kissi ka naam hai
sapnon ke jaisi
uski har shaam hai
koi toh ho jisse
apna dil dijiye
phir dekhiye…


This lyric from Rock On tells a story. This blog is all about love and songs. What’s my happiness quotient, if I can get up in the morning, and there is a song on my lips!!!


honton pe jiske
koi toh geet hai
woh haare bhi toh
uski hi jeet hai
dil mein jo geet hai
gunguna lijiye
phir dekhiye



My all time favourite romantic numbers are:

Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar (Hum Dono - 1961): I just love this song. You just cannot have enough of someone whom you truly love. It’s amazing how the world seems so empty if your partner is not around.

When You Say Nothing at All (Notting Hill): The soundtrack is from my all time favourite romantic movie. I must have seen this movie n number of times. It’s true when you are in love you just don’t need words to communicate.

Pehla Nasha (Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar): This is the song on my lips when I am feeling top of this world. Your first Childhood crush, first time you fell in love. I guess this is the song when you are falling in love.

(Everything I do) I do it for you (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves): Probably the song I wanna play, when I am gonna ask someone to marry me. It has been my number one song for years and I don’t think any song can come close to this. I mean seriously, what more does a guy needs to tell a gal. (Everything I do) I do it for you.


Life is short. So love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Five Year Plan

I was tired. Tired of running, tired of doing things I never wanted to do, tired of been in the herd, tired of losing my identity, tired of trying to live in the future instead of the present. So on my 23rd birthday I finally decided to break free. It’s a risk, but I guess risk worth taking. In my lifetime I have realized that failures don’t last forever and success is not going be there tomorrow.

So now my future looks very blank in front of my eyes. For the first time I am not walking a predictable path walked by others. I am on my own. Yes, it is giving me sleepless nights but I am sure this will pass to. So now when somebody ask me what my plans are I have no clue. But that would make me look very stupid and been a true Virgo – the best planners with an eye for detail; I have come with a Five Year Plan of my own.(People who have no idea what’s a five year plan please go and read your 10th std economics text book).

Five year Plan
  1. Before my 24th birthday I want to visit Leh and Ladakh and capture its beautiful landscape. A gentle reminder to you Dee about my new DSLR.
  2. Write a book, not a complete novel but a collection of short stories or my memoirs or some complete random stuff about anything. Though I haven’t set any time frame; finishing one book by 25th birthday would be great.(Dedicated to K.S. These time more than nine chapters I promise)
  3. Waving India’s tricolour as F1 cars zoom past me. Nothing could be more adrenaline pumping then to see a Ferrari on a race track taking the chequered flag.
  4. Watching the Red devils play in Old Trafford. The best part if I can watch the game on my birthday and Rooney scores…
  5. Learning how to play drums. And bang bang wake all my neighbours’ up. Ha-ha. Now that I know Air Rifle shooting, taking it seriously to participate in some local tournaments.
I will be 28th in five years. (Jeez I know maths!!!) Why worry today what I will be doing.
Check my new poem!!! Good Night

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Black and White Photos

This post is gonna be short ... Posted some photos that i have clicked recently... Be my guest and have a look. You can vote..(Please do So)...
http://mirror-pictures.blogspot.com/ . Here is the Link

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Barso re Megha, Barso re

On a quiet Sunday evening I have decided to forgo my evening siesta and write something after a long hiatus. I have kept my self busy by attending workshop on Photography and also completing a course on Air rifle shooting. Due to my interest in photography I got to see many new places which was wonderful but which also meant that I was as busy on weekends as I am during the weekdays…

The Pied Crested Cuckoo also called the Rain bird has arrived in Mumbai signalling that it may Rain soon and keeping with time I have changed my caller tune.

I have never liked rains ever since I was kid. Its surprising that after living in Mumbai for 23 years I still haven’t gotten to love it as much as my family and friends do. As a kid whenever it rained it meant staying indoors with the adults since you couldn’t go out and play. It also meant paying a visit to my local doctor. I use to wait when the Sun will come out and I can rush outside to play.

As it happens in Life you meet some one who helps you change your opinion.
Sujata loved rains ever since she was kid… every time it would rain a smile would break on her face. She didn’t saw the pot holes filled roads, the jammed packed buses or the slowing down of trains, she only saw the rain droplets trickling down her face.

We no longer share the friendship we did once and having our differences decided to take different paths. As time passes and I get older I will forget some of the moments we shared. But come rains and I am sure that there is someone who will be dancing and smiling. So Do I love rains? It cannot be answered in yes or no but I don’t hate them any more like I use too…

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sleeping Pill for an Insomniac!!!

“Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry.” I have never read a more beautiful line than this or may be I haven’t read that many classics to begin with. Sometimes when it gets difficult to find sleep at night and nothing else will work I go to my book shelf and search for a book calledLove Story by Erich Segal”.
I have no idea how this book became my sleeping pill but every time sleep has deserted me reading the book always puts me to sleep.

There are lot of books which can put you to sleep some engineering books are quite famous for putting its readers to sleep in no time. But I just love the characters. Its 133 pages from start to end and that means I can finish the book in 90 minute or even less than that. And by the end of it I am so numb and my mind is so blank that I just close my eyes and I am asleep.

I have always been a huge fiction fan and action and thrillers rank high on my list. But this is perhaps the only book which is different from the genre I read. Its amazes me how in less than 100 pages the author can pack so many emotions.

Talking about emotions I guess it will be interesting to read It’s Not About the bike by Lance Armstrong
World champion at age of 24 who fought cancer to become 7 times winner of Tour de France one of the world toughest sporting event. One of my sporting heroes…

I guess by next blog is gonna be on that book. Till my next blog you can check out my new writing November. It’s crappy as usual…

Ever since we met in November,
Yours is the only face I remember
Night and day…

Its true believe me
With lips of an angel
You sound so sweet

Without you on my side
Life seems to be a big lie…

Words Can't Say What A Love Can Do!!!

But that was yesterday
You are so far away
And I am on my own
It felt lot like love
Till yesterday it felt so great

Been in love…

Its true believe me
Words Can't Say What A Love Can Do!!!

With lips of an angel
You sound so sweet


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Friends they play different role every day in your life. You love them, hate them, miss them but cannot live in a world without them. This article is dedicated to some of my friends without whom my life would be less interesting and also because there is a funny story how I became friends with them.

Neha AKA “Kiddo”:- Seven years and still counting. In class of 150 on the first day of junior college she was the only voice that got my attention and I managed to know her name which incidentally helped me to borrow biology notes from her since I knew her name and could ask her. In seven long years since then we have been through thick and thin. I still call her a kid and planning to give her a special award for listening to me for so many years and still been sane. Perhaps the only person who can read my mind and that’s special given the fact that my brain never sleeps.

Moments: hmm there are many but perhaps my surprise visit to her when I landed unannounced in Pune.

Little known fact: We have never attended each other birthdays.

Priyanka AKA “Pri” AKA ”Babes”:- She though I was aloof and may be a touch arrogant since I kept forgetting her name and kept calling her by some other name(that’s y two nicknames for her).

We got to know each other while working on a white paper contest. The fact is I wasn’t in the original team and came in because they were one person short .She is my eternal girlfriend. We love to argue. Given a choice she would kill me because I irritate her so much. But all beautiful girls have beautiful heart and so I am still alive…

Moments: The birthday party we friends threw for her 20th birthday. The smile on her face was worth all the effort. One of my best surprise parties till date.

Little known fact: She is my Self appointed relationship advisor.

Prajwal AKA “Praj” AKA “My Devil twin ”:- If this was 70’s, then we would have been part of Manmohan Desai classic of two brothers lost in a mela and meeting after 21 years. I always knew him as priyanka’s friend but Goa trip last summer actually changed this. His home is now my weekend getaway. We discuss everything right from girls to our first love Manchester United. There are very few people whom I respect and he is one of them. It needs courage to walk on road less travel. The fact that he is running his own small firm is no mean achievement by any accounts.

Moments:
The Goa trip. Matches in which Man United wins.

Little known fact: We can read each others thoughts.

Karishma AKA “Superwoman”:- Well we were a part of a team of more than 50 people who were involved in organizing a technical fest at inter city level. In all the two months of preparation our path never crossed and we actually met for the first time at the reunion a year later. The first time we met she thought I was arrogant. One of the very few people I enjoy talking to. Has an amazing sense of humor.

Moments: The first time we met.

Little known fact: Love making greeting cards for friends...

Raisa AKA “Moufflou”:- I hate going to social gatherings and especially where I know no one. So after saying no to dad that I won’t accompany him to his Bangalore trip I don’t know what made me change my mind especially since if I decide something I hardly go back. One of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Even though she lives on a different continent and a different time zone our journey till now has been fun. Multi talented and a drama queen.

Moments: The surprise birthday present I made for her. Bangalore trip.

Little known fact: Thought I hated her at first...

Well the fact remains what ever first impression I may have had on them they have realized over a period of time that someone like me is rare and even though they would like if I can keep my mouth shut they love me nevertheless…